Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
