I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize