Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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