After last night, I could never be a politician.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
