Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
