its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
