Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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