there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
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