anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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