i just wanna soil my oats bro
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
