East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
