All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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