I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
