My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
The air was thick with penises
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
