I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
