The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
