Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
