i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
