On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
