Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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