I wanna bring you to show and tell
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize