she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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