Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
