i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
