Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
