I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
