just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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