I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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