I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
