"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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