We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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