I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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