Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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