So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
