I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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