I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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