The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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