u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
