I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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