she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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