My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
