doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize