she told me i tasted like america
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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