I think my vagina is haunted
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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