She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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