Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
