I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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