Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Panties = found
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
