I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
