I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize