I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
