dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
