Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
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