YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
