It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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