member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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