my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
