Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I cannot find my penis.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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