GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
