I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
