WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
My vagina just clenched in fear
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
