I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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